Pulp – Charles Bukowski ( 1994 )

Tell me slick, what’s the deal?

I ain’t telling you zip, buster! You think I’m gonna crack just like that? I have eight holes in my stomach, 2 were done by lead and the other 6 were by alcohol. Harsh words won’t do the trick, fella, I been married three times.

Look, buster, I don’ ‘ave the time, get on with it!

Fine, only because I gotta make the bookies… This guy, Nick Belane, works as a private dick and gets hired by a fine piece of woman who might or not be The Grim Reaper incarnate. He also needs to find something called the Red Sparrow and nail some girl cheating on her husband. Bukowski ensues.

Any moving visual aid for this, wiseguy?

You are dry out of luck, mister. Not yer lucky night, eh?

Just the facts, lucky!

It goes topsy-turvy from there for our antihero, Belane. Between some clever quips and general tomfoolery, he talks about the death of the detective ways and the new generations on a city that doesn’t recognizes him. The three intertwined plots are just a distraction, this is just a loving tribute to pulp writing!

Wanna sleep with the fishes? Spill your guts, stool pigeon!

I bought this book because a friend of mine told me I write like Bukowski in real life. I dunno, I like his style but I don’t feel like nicking stuff here and there. It’s his last book and maybe this sentiment seeps through: his yearning (implied) for older days and general disapproval of modern life in general. He is a relic of the olden days and a lot of people remark this (especially when they hear how much he charges, because it’s the standard rate).

The plot is a bit weird, but ends up falling exactly where it belongs. Everything fits, in a cliché way, but you know that’s the author intention, a fact proved by the little blurb at the beginning dedicating the book to “bad writing”.

The humour, oh, Bukowski’s humour sometimes is hit and miss with the non fans, but you can read him on plain form on this one, with the typical expressions you’d expect from a dirty detective novel. Now that I think of, the ending might feel as a bit of cop out or just plain weird, but it fits perfectly with the nature of the Red Sparrow (I won’t spoil this for you, but click the link for the first time I mention “Red Sparrow” on this review).

Bukowski’s quirky writing has a few repetition here and there, going pretty much with the motif that Nick Belane’s life is now a cycle of crappy moments and sleep. Heck, there’s a chapter when he just quaintly informs us that nothing relevant happened and we should skip along.

If anything, it’s one of the better if not the best view inside his head. If you can just replace the words “detective” with “writer”, you can pretty much just see where he is shooting from, how his feelings before the impending death are pretty much that he knows he is doomed, but he doesn’t care: he has a job to do, drinks to imbibe, chicks to bed and a few punches to give away before getting the final curtain call.

If you are new to Bukowski, this is a fine place to start. If you are a fan of some of his ramblings (like the short story about the cheating lovers that are caught by a teleporting husband) or enjoy pulp writing, this is a fantastic addition to your collection.

Who’s your grass, mate? I want to take a butcher’s

Now this is getting silly…. but i’m game:

Quick excerpt:

http://www.diesel-ebooks.com/cgi-bin/item/parent-9780876859261/Pulp-eBook.html#

A few reviews:

http://www-rohan.sdsu.edu/dept/press/ReviewINK/BUKOWSKIpulp.html

http://www.thrillingdetective.com/non_fiction/r024.html

http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=93-9780061492655-0

More about the author:

Fan site

Doctor Who – The Doctor’s Daughter ( 2008 )

Someone’s taking the mick around here? Really. That’s it?? There was a lot of hoopla about this episode and I guess that maybe my expectations were a bit high-ish, but… it was really underwhelming.

Tennant seemed to be a little on “automatic” on previous episodes and it felt like today was going to be another one. I was thankfully wrong at the end, but it was hanging precariously between “good acting” and “diabolical acting”.

The story promised a lot, but you can’t change the status quo of a show that much, is it? I’m hoping that this episode will be linked to something else in the ending, just like last year’s Lazarus Experiment (written by the same geezer, hmmm). It’s not that good, but it isn’t a mess like you would be led to believe.

…so, the plot?

Silly Doc Ten, Lauren a Silly PoFaced Bint Assistant arrive into nondescript quarry planet where he gets cloned and wouldn’t you know it? The clone comes out with perfect fitting clothes, make up and snarky dialogue, stolen from Joss Whedon’s scripts!

So, a lot of time and gurns after, Silly PoFaced Bint Assistant gets herself Marthanapped by some fish (wonder if they are related to the one in Torchwood?). It turns out that the planet has an inhospitable atmosphere (is it Villahermosa?) so exposure to the atmosphere can be deadly. Why do I mention this? No idea and I dun a poo why it’s even mentioned, except for padding reasons.

Which brings me to my main problem… why in the name of Terry Nation do you pad a story that hardly needs padding, that has enough emotional power that you can stretch?! Do they mention that she’s a clone of the last living Timelord? Nah, let’s go for a weepy travel through a badly lit marsh, just like, i dunno, an old overpadded episode that makes no sense! Yeah, we got 45 minutes to wrap up this story and instead of going for the “emotional journey” with the Doctor and his “daughter”, we get the MOST STUPID FISH IN THE WORLD… swim, you flippin’ idiot!

It gets a bit better by the end, though, even if it veers directly into the “oh, no… spin off!!!” territory with a twee afterthought.

Random thoughts:

-It’s the pimple teen from the simpsons!
-Buffy ?
-It’s the fish from Torchwood?
-Good moments with nice chats!
-This is like Fenric Flirting?
-Quarries! Quarries!
-NO! NOT THE MOUSE! WERE THE FCUK IS PETA?!?!
-The rifles shoot zippo lighters, AHOOGAH!
-She goes Sarah Jane on us!
-That fish has more personality than Martha.
-Hey she surived walking the earth. Heck if she survived the space equivalent of Villahermosa, she’ll survive everything!
-I really really really hope she doesn’t fly like her dad!

And now…THE RATINGS!

Silly companion moments

Proof that McCoy is the father too

“Yo, where’s Sarah Michelle Gellar?”

Stupid military moments

Moments you ask yourself “Why is Martha in this again?”

Instances you mutter to yourself that famous Marlon Brando phrase from On the waterfront…

Moments you go “padding on a 45 minute episode? geeeeeze!”

“Wow…she’s really cute!”

Feepo Moments

Times the thought of ” SPIN OFF!!! ” whirls in your head

“Crying towel” bits

Times you remember her father is a bastidd so tough that managed to survive a crash landing, go into some fekkin’ cave, fool a Lava Monster and save her best friend (all of this while under the influence of a deadly poison) and you just say to yourself “boy, she’s high maintenance!”

Frillyrating:

RTD says:

“Frilly, you are a silly straight living with your parents. YOU ARE NOT IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EMOTIONS!! This delivers!!”

Silly Captions!

“Ah! It’s Jeff Goldblum!”

Click here to see who plays this character…

Doctor:”For the last time, I’m NOT calling you Buffy!”

Donna: (thinking) “sigh…gotta call my agent!”

“No, really, I bought it at Tesco”

Heartbroken, David Tennant sees the plot for the next episodes and thinks “I shoulda stayed in Harry Potter…”

Doctor Who – The Poison Sky ( 2008 )

So, there I am, 3 am, fiiiiiiiiiiiiinally arriving from another Saturday working as a bartender (never mix absinthe with vodka with tequila, kiddies) and lo and behold, the Mad Martha Torrent was there shiny in all it’s illegal glory…and I didn’t watch it ’cause being a bartender can be hard on ye…

Anyyyhoo, i gave it a view today and you know what? It wasn’t that bad. I quite enjoyed it even if it’s the nth invasion of earth story (whoa, is it the Pertwee years again?). The cliffhanger was solved as expected, there was a fun-fun shootout and Martha’s Evil Clone acts better than the silly bint does (which isnt a lot, really). Donna goes a bit Nyssa and does rather nothing and there’s a lot of dodgy science going around here. The Big Flame o’Burning (TM) apparently didn’t burn anybody nor any plane nor any fowl nor anything at all, it seems.

Cribbins? He’s the man, really. I get a hint of Patrick Troughton… the way he talks and all, it reminds me of The Mighty Trout, dunno why.

Finally, some aliens that aren’t bulletproof… wonder why the heads didn’t collapse or some green goo came out of their mouth (ala 2 docs!)

The “wtf?” moment was courtesy of Bingo, of course. I might have a theory of what’s going on, but it’s quite stupid and frankly I don’t think they’ll go there…

Random Thoughts:
-Martha really is going the “Nyssa way”… useless in Who, useless in Tosswood… both had a nice-ish rump, that’s it!
-WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was that who I think it was??!!?!?! BINGO!
-Did they bought a cd of jokey sound effects? The lasers sound like sh1t!
-Donna plays WHACK A MOLE!!
-Biggest Plothole? NO GARETH JENKINS!!!!! Where is he?!?! A fix with Sontarans said he saves us! Jimmy wouldn’t lie, would he?
-ARE YOU MY MUMMY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-A kiss after humanity is saved? wtf? is this a Michael Bay movie?
-How can they do the “SONTAR HA!” thing if they are pointing guns?! And is it really that expensive that they must reuse the footage from last ep?
-”I set the planet on fire, but don’t worry, nothing happened”
-The evil Tween … Vaughn he aint… Camp it up dude!

Anyhooo, the Visual Guide y’all probably tired of:

Amount of times we get the cool “UNIT theme”

Times you think Raynor will do something cool on her script

Times you JUST know RTD messed aboot here:

Silly “Gringo’s are madddddddd” “for the lulz!” moments

Times the human baddies (Marthaclone and the idiotic kid genius) go into “Diabolical Acting” mode


Stupid “oooh they are really small!” jokes

Times you think Cribbins looks like an old Patrick Troughton

Reasons why DAVO is the perfect Father in law

Moments o’Feepo (TM)

Reasons to see the next episode

More “the Doc is bad, bad, BAAAAD!” mum moments

Times you think Cribbins deserves his own fekkin’ series

Stupid companion moments:

Proof that the work of Davo is SACRED!!!

Red Berets that have red shirts

FrillyRating:

RTD says:
IT DELIVERS!!!

Silly captions:

It’s pass the kool aid day!

Fekkin Pamela Nash!

The Doctor in Mexico City

Man, if this was Torchwood….