A buzzing visual guide to

Doctor Who – The Unicorn and the Wasp ( 2008 )

Edited Highlights:

The Doctor and Lauren Donna need to solve a murder mystery with Miss Marple Agatha Christie. Hilarity, murder, lace, cyanide and a whole lot of references ensue.

Rant:

It’s the 1920s and plucky Donna and his Charleston-dancing friend (Feepo, temping for the Doc this week) arrive just in time for a par-taaaay…and murder! Oh, and the colour purple abused thoroughly…what’s with the production values, yo?

Turns out some fat dude gets topped in a study (where’s Colonel Mustard, yo?). Through some maaaad detecting skillssss (meaning just waiting for expository clues to appear), The Doctor, Donna and a very shaggable Agatha Christie run around for 40 minutes or so. I dunno, I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION, OKAY? I was just grabbing some screen caps and thinking of jokes. HAVE PITY!

Anyhoo, there’s fekkin’ big wasp killing people around (get Michael Caine, he has the experience! Or even better, get Nicolas Cage!), some stiff upper lip mocking of the British way of life and… that’s it! There’s some weird convoluted discussionabout Agatha Christie’s mysterious disappearance but it…. doesn’t deliver.

And what’s with the character’s stupidity? What the frijoles are they thinking? “ooooh, there’s a nice GIGANTOFEKKERAMA wasp coming my way! What should I do?” GET TOPPED, you idiot! “Oooh, there’s a heavy-like statue coming towards me from the sky? Shall I move to the side? NAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, let it hit me! I CAN TAKE IT!” … Fellas, your Darwin Awards are waiting, collect them on your way to the big re-run in the sky.

The plot…. ehrm, there was one? Gareth Roberts does know his references and it shows, but, jolly frijoles and chips… is he into recycling? He’s pretty much doing the same thing he did on The Shakespeare Code, even the “ah, that’s where they got their inspiration from” jokes ( “You can use that” in Shakespeare Code, “Copyright: DONNA NOBLE!” on this one). It’s a good joke, but all these jokes suffer from repetition.

I would like to make a small aside from all this nastiness from my rant to make some kudos for director Graeme Harper, I love his style. HE FEKKIN’ RULES, OK??? Go watch Caves of the Androzani or Rise of the Cybermen. If you don’t have them, acquire them or invite me out for some food and I’ll gladly show ‘em to you .

Wait, it wasn’t an aside. It was the end of the review. Sorry!

Random thoughts (and the time they appeared):

01:55 “ooh, a giant wasp! OH SH1T IM DEAD!”
02:32 “Flapper or slapper? How about annoying, honey?”
04:56 “Get Poirot on the scene!!”
09:50: WTF… wavy lines for flashbacks?!?!
11:30 A flashback inside a flashbackl?!
14:42 It’s the pudsey bear!
15:55 “Buzzed off!” …groaaaan!
22:00 Damn! THE BUTLER DID IT?!
23:30 she has terrible breath!
25:55 I have a pun for you “he has something on his back!” BOOM BOOM!
29:07 Yes officer, arrest me.. ahh so that’s where the stupid agatha christie villains come from!
29:10 She’s the unicorn because he gives the horn?
38:50 Bessie?

41:25 I would have amnesia too if I were at Harrogate

43:48 (trailer) URSULA?!?!?!?!

And now…the visual rating!!!

Groan inducing puns

Moments I thought “whoa, either i’m horny or they are nice looking!”

Harperisms (nice shots, cool tracking bits, nice visual flair)

Moments o’duuuuuuuuuuuh!

Attack of the Feepo!

Is this satire?

She did…WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

“Geeze….can I skip directly to the Moffat one?”

Frillyrating:

RTD says:

“Frilly, you suck! This is satire! SATIRE! And it delivers!”

Silly Captions:

“She did WHAT with an alien wasp?”
“Oh, I bet it stinged!” (eat your heart out, Gareth Roberts!)

They caught her in the act!

AAAH!!! Never eat Dave’s Insanity Sauce! NEVER!!!

“Oh no….blue means pregnant?”

PS: I liked it maybe a tad higher than 3 stars, but it’s open to get some pounding, right? And Caves of the Androzani? IT SERIOUSLY DELIVERS:

Tags: agatha christie, Doctor Who, gareth roberts, The unicorn and the wasp