Reviews from a caffeinated window #7

Doctor Who – 42 (2007)

Reviewed by: FrillyShirtCyberman

The Gist of it:

It all starts with the Doc upgrading Po-Faced Silly Bint Companion (or PFSBC for short) mobile phone… probably a quick switch from Orange to Virgin, because let’s face it: Orange’s roaming is hard on the pockets!

The new Nokia, with funky lights.

Anyways, Doc TenSquee and Companion who wants to Shag Him (PFSBC) receive a distress signal. Sadly, it turned out it was just the Doctor downloading “Sunshine” and “Event Horizon” from the internet, so they had to run from the MPAA (man, are those bastards hard or what?!)

The mexican metro was a great place to get pirate copies.

So they stowaway on this nice little comfy ship (The Palomino, i think), which is being pulled into the sun, Planet of Evil style (insert Prentis Hancock joke). Since he ain’t no Tom Baker, he gets separated from the Tardis and has to use his wits for once. Also, he decides not to go and randomly hug captains this time about or talking about “hoooo-mans rulz! lolz!” in a squeaky voice.

It’s Ridley Scott’s fault that all spaceships are dirty and grungy, you know?

No siree bob! This is The Doctor, in hard-ass mode. Watch yourself, stupid Helios, this Scottish dude is out for blood.

Hold him! He wants to see “Love and Monsters” again!

Okay, so while sending PoFacedCompanion to help out carry the shopping bags of the nice looking dude (hey, I’m straight, but gota admit the dude was a charmer!), the Doc gets all serious and sh1t and starts doing some hard work, investigating why the hell the ship is going faster than a mexican Microbus O’Muerte (TM).

Ah, just get ONE illegal copy in your life and the 5-0 is all over you. Damn!

Also, there’s someone sabotaging stuff around. Quick, start searching for Reinhardt or his rubbish floating robot! It turns out that there’s something spooky on the ship, killing the crew one by one. Did Alex Garland co-wrote this with Chris Chibnall?

So, fellas, should we retrieve Cillian Murphy while we are at it?

Anyhoo, PoFaced Martha and the nice looking dude (i swear i’m straight) go through some doors coded with pub quiz style questions. Luckily, her phone had WAP, so she just went to Wikipedia and solved the problem, quick-snap.

So, waddaya say, girl? Drop the scottish git for a welsh geezer?

Meanwhile, no more than a scorched swallow flight’s away, The Doc, Scruffy crewman and Captain Shady find the remains of the ship’s doctor and some k.d. lang style mechanic. It turns out that there’s this evil sun-spirit roaming the ship, possessing people and killing them. The evil sun-spirit gets another crewmate possessed (see? he went to those management courses where you share responsibilities! Stephen Covey for the win!) and Martha and the nice looking lad get themselves on a escape pod, shot into the sun.

He wanted a hot getaway, but now this is ridiculous.

The Doc won’t have any of that and puts some 10000 SPF sunblock lotion (with gallifreyan aloe) and rescues PoFaced companion and Nice Looking Dude. The bad part is he gets AlexGarlan’d by the evil sun-spirit and starts chasing people away. That is until DumbArse companion figures the best way to help him is to get him freeze dried.

Oh, shiny!

Ok, Martha, please stop ripping Planet of Evil, okay? Silly female dog!

Anyhoo, the Doc is popsicle’d, the last doors are opened and Captain Shady and her possessed husband go for one fiery last shag. Talk about Club Med, it’s more like Club Dead!

Is it too crass to make another “fiery” or “hot” joke with this?

Tee hee, it all ends well, Nice looking lad kisses Martha and Scruffy crewmember justs sits around. The Doc gives a spare Tardis key to PoFaced Martha in a “Thankyou Massa!” moment that was just plain stupid.

If you pay attention to the background, someone is getting jealous.

Oh, and Martha’s mum sells them out to some g-men. B1tch.

I’m in ur forum, banning ur users.

Rant:

Oooh boy, did I have fun with this light-plotted one! Chibnall’s scripts for Torchwood were variable, but here he does excel himself. True, the premise can be done in just one line, but the execution, oh man, Graeme Harper has a fantastic tooth for this kick paced stuff.

Someone’s been watching Pyramids of Mars…

I felt like the whole story was like those 3 final minutes from Caves of the Androzani, when Davo is going to crash land. Yup, Mack Daddy Davo was so hard-ass he crashed to saved Peri. And that “quick quick run!!” pace is kept magnificent around. He abuses a bit with amber and purple lights, but it’s more of a signature than a bad lightning choice. It spelled “hazard lights!” and I was grateful for it.

The Doctor here is played in school Doctor-ish way: using his head to solve problems around, almost no sonic screwdriver and depending on people around him to get stuff done. I like the subtle moment when Doc Tensquee thinks he might not make it out alive and starts to hurriedly explain to Martha about a regeneration.

No more Nando’s extra spicy chicken or Mole for this man! Quick, bring some milk!

Martha is better played around here. Thank Jebus we are spared of those “I want him, nooooow!” moments that appear on other serials, and I appreciate it. She’s thoughtful, scared and helping, like a good companion should do.

As much stick I give to Murray Gold’s “Hans Zimmerian” music, here it works wonders, specially the ominous bass song before the Doc gets frozen (which itself gets kicked up a notch with Tennant’s painful yelling…whoa, watch the lungs, dude!)

No! No more Avril Lavigne, Spice Girls or Take That, please!

The bit players are that: just disposable characters, but the actors playing them did a good and deserve to take a bow. The CGI was excellent and the sets were “grungy space adventure” which are fine by me.

Oh noeees! We is gettin’ sued! Danny Boyle does not forgive! (beautiful shot, by the way)

All in all, a flippin’ enjoyable romp which gets repeated viewings from me. A nice change of pace from those “safe” stories, which show how good is to have a variable format in this program. Take a bow, Graeme Harper!

Frillyrating:

Extra captions:

Ehrm, mate, by “burn with me” do you mean you have some free ganja you want to share?

Little Skaro?

“Are you sure those are the Thals you want to exterminate?”
“Yes”
“Are you sure you don’t want pity on your new daleks?”
“Yeah!”
“If they turn against you, they won’t have pity! Remember you said that total hate led to destruction, annihilation and sorrow?”
“Yeah, I know!”
“So, are you sure you want to put the “no pity” gene? Don’t you want a “hover stairs” gene?”
“I want THAT one!”
“No pity it is, then!”
“I don’t like it. And I look a pillock!”

Spinster #6: That long drive through dry country…

I’m back with more music recommendations!

Tom Petty – Full Moon Fever Always dependable churner of Americana sounds gathers a few of his pals from Traveling Wilburys to make one of the best albums of Petty’s oeuvre. Jeff Lynne (from ELO) does magnificent co writing duties on the classics, whilst George Harrison and Roy Orbison contribute on the odd track here and there. The main theme on the cd is about movement, whether accepting defeat from life’s curveballs (free fallin’), resisting life’s said hardships (I won’t back down) or just driving along on a desert in a glorious sunny day (runnin’ down a dream). Petty’s voice never sounded so alive or so convinced about the lyrics until this cd and they won’t be like this until 1995, when he makes Wildflowers, with God-like Rick Rubin on the driving wheel.

Best tracks: Runnin’ down a dream, I won’t back down, A face in the crowd

Check them out if you dig: Counting Crow’s This Desert life, Goo Goo Dolls’ A boy named goo, The Wallflowers, The Traveling Wilburys, Soul Asylum, Some by sea, Neil Young.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:13820r3ac48c
http://www.robertchristgau.com/get_artist.php?name=tom+petty
http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/cd/review.asp?aid=53568

Grant Lee Buffalo – Jubilee This L.A.-based was never a “happy song” group and it wasn’t too accessible for the common listener. Like their good friends from R.E.M., the lyrics were a bit undecipherable from time to time, but this Vaudeville-themed cd has the now defunct group doing some of the most easy to enjoy songs. By no way does this mean that it’s a pop album, no siree bob, but it’s a nice laid down record which you might use to turn the non-believers into GLB fans. It also boasts their only U.S. hit, the lovely “Truly, truly” and a pretty angry, hard hitting but nice-sounding track called “Change your tune”, were the target of the group’s scorn is exhorted to stop doing the same mistake/tell the same lie. Stupid trivia: when R.E.M.’s Bill Berry suffered an aneurysm during the “Monster” tour, Andy Kaufman lookalike Joey Peters dutifully covered drums for GLB and R.E.M. Fantastic last album!

Best tracks: APB, Change your tune, Truly truly, 8 mile road. Covering for Bill Berry

Check them out if you dig: R.E.M.’s New Adventures in Hi-Fi or Automatic for the people, American Music Club, Aimee Mann, Sufjan Stevens, Magnolia Electric Co., Jeff Tweedy, Eels, Evan Dando, Juliana Hatfield, Gin Blossoms.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/grantleebuffalo/albums/album/105790/review/5946871/jubilee
http://music.yahoo.com/release/158179
http://www.nme.com/reviews/grant-lee-buffalo/175
http://seewhatyouhear.wordpress.com/2004/06/14/grant-lee-buffalo-mighty-joe-moon/

R.E.M. – New adventures in Hi Fi Mostly made up from demo sessions, sound checks and even a bathroom session (??), this album signified a lot of things: what it was like to go on the road with R.E.M., the same thematic about movement and abandonment that Tom Petty explored on Full Moon Fever and last but not least, the departure of Bill Berry, due to an aneurysm he suffered during tour. The album’s first cut was brandished on the 1995 VMA’s, where “Wake up bomb” was debut and it announced another departure from the sound of the previous album, Monster, which seemed to be R.E.M.’s m.o. during the 90’s : the current album will not sound anything like the one before, which gave us a plethora of changing styles, from the mandolin abuse in Out of Time until the minimal-esque electronics musings from 1998’s Up. But back to this release, please. Not only does the sound of the album is more raw and visceral, but the songs get lengthier, with Leave being one of the longest (and strongest) song of R.E.M.’s repertoire. Again, the central theme of the album feels to be about movement: loss (leave), parting of friends or lovers (e-bow the letter), hectic tour daters (departure), the stupidity of sex (Binky the doormat) and that peculiar feeling of being trapped and not being able to escape (Undertow). This is truly a depressing album, with the odd number of happiness put VERY sparingly, but it really is quite honest with its message, which evocates perfectly the album’s cover: a passing desert scene, from the passenger’s seat. It really gets the spirit of he album to a T.

Best tracks: Wake up bomb, Low desert, Binky the doormat, Departure, Undertow, E-Bow the letter.

Check them out if you dig: Grant Lee Buffalo (hey, they are good friends!), Manic Street Preachers, The Wallflowers’ Bringing down the horse, Gin Blossoms’ New miserable experience, Duncan Sheik’s Phantom Moon, Blind Melon’s Soup, Echo and the Bunnymen, Neil Young’s Sleeps with Angels.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=At098s30ua3ng
http://www.robertchristgau.com/get_artist.php?id=1140&name=R.E.M.
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/21316/R_E_M_New_Adventures_in_HiFi
http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/album/_/id/92047
http://www.stylusmagazine.com/articles/on_second_thought/rem-new-adventures-in-hi-fi.htm

Filter – The Amalgamut I felt this album got shafted during promotion, since the first single was a bit of a faux pas that sounded a little to close to “Take a picture”, the meteoric single that misrepresented the previous album, “Title of the record”. Some turgid songs at the beginning of the record (Columind, American Cliché) don’t help either, but the album starts to grow on you with the sadness of The Missing or the light peppiness of “The only way is the wrong way”. We get a nice screamer with “So I quit”, which feels like Richard Patrick exorcising a few demons (and killing his throat too). God damn me and It can never be the same are two quiet but pulse pounding masterpieces kept for last. Again, the album is not perfect, but it’s quite good. Supposedly, Richard Patrick wrote this one whilst driving on the desert after the WTC was attacked. If that story is truth, it does surface a bit on the underlying themes of rage and loss that pop a bit on the album. A good record to raise that “Filter is not Take a picture, dammit!” banner a little higher.

Best tracks: The Missing, The only way, So I quit, God Damn me, It can never be the same.

Check them out if you dig: Stabbing Westward’s Wither Blister Burn and Peel & Darkest Days, Deftones’ White Pony and Deftones, Stone Temple Pilots’ Purple, A perfect circle.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:ct9ss38qa3mg
http://www.blender.com/guide/reviews.aspx?id=517
http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/filter/albums/album/320918/review/6067805/the_amalgamut

-Sam

Rapid-fire music news…

Sam here, the reviews are a bit late this week, but here’s some nice news from The Times:

- Supergrass and pals are making a charity single called Consequences for Crisis, a homeless charity. The catch? All artists involved were not allowed to hear what the other’s were playing, like the children’s game consequence. Looking forward for it! Exquisite cadaver for the win!

-American Music Club released a new album? Eitzel and his merry kings of San Francisco pain have a Golden age out now. A positive review is here.

-Why do so many mexicans love Morrissey? This article from The Believer might have some great points to make.

-Now, I don’t get any royalties from The Times, but they have a fantastic podcast with Stephen Malkmus, where he discusses life with children, music and working with a band with different musical sensibilities (the drummer likes prog rock?).

-The Indie-o 2008 festival in Mexico is ready to kick our collective bottoms! Broken Social Scene and The National spearhead this year’s amazing line-up. Tickets on sale, friday 22, 2008.

-Does you geographic music influence the music you hear? This article thinks so.

-Another group with pain-ridden lyrics has a new album soon to churn out. Counting Crows have the double album dubbed “Saturday night, Sunday morning” out March 25th. About the title, always-weird-hair-do-singer Adam Duritz says “Saturday night is when you sin and Sunday is when you regret. Sinning is often done very loudly, angrily, bitterly, violently”. It’s rumoured to sound “like” Recovering the Satellites. Here’s hoping. The single can be heard at their home page.

-Grant Lee Phillips will be touring his magnificent voice (and other instruments, including his toy piano) in a tour that will land him on the UK and Scandinavia. Tour dates right here. The London gig should be sweet.

Spinster #5: And now for something bleaker…

Cheerios! Frilly can’t do any of his rants reviews this week, so it’s a double column for me this time around.

Soundgarden – Down on the upside I remember the expectation when this one came out. Most people who were addicted to the previous album, Superunknown¸ were a bit disappointed (to say the least). I found it a bit lacking too on the first spins, but thankfully it was a grower. The lyrics feel even bleaker this time around (Overfloater, Zero chance, Applebite), whilst the rhythm can be either sluggish (pretty noose) or frantic (ty cobb, no attention). Everyone is doing their best on this album and whilst not as good as the previous one (there’s reports on Rolling Stone about Kim Thayil and Chris Cornell clashing whilst recording), it is a far much better than Badmotorfinger. Good variety on this bleak album, which was Soundgarden’s fifth and last.

Best tracks: Zero chance, Burden in my hand, Ty Cobb, No attention, Applebite, Overfloater.

Check them out if you dig: Mother Love Bone, Temple of the dog, Pearl Jam, Mad Season, Alice in Chains, Meat Puppets.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.robertchristgau.com/get_artist.php?name=soundgarden

http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/soundgarden/albums/album/95658/review/5940544/down_on_the_upside

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/21918-down-on-the-upside

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,292725,00.html

Red Hot Chili Peppers – One hot minute I’ll be honest: I was never a fan of the Chili Peppers and even now, that I’ve seen them twice live, I’m still not sold on them. Mind you, last year’s concert in Mexico was less than stellar, just so you know where I’m standing. Anyhow, way back in ‘95 I was just an impressionable teen (I’m still impressionable, though) who got mesmerized when Warped started doing the rounds. Were these guys the same Chili Peppers that sounded always samey to me? It seems that Dave Navarro’s replacement of long-time guitarrist John Frusciante was a bit of hard hit to everyone (fanbase included). The album is a vast step in a different direction of what is known as the classic Chili sound of funk-rock-rap, the core of which is still evident in tracks like Aeroplane and Walkabout, where Navarro duly tortures his wah-wah pedal. But other tracks offer a wider variation from their usual hijinx, past and future. Pea is a bass-only song which is as earnest as they come, whilst One big mob has a psychedelicious intermission that includes a crying baby (Navarro’s son) and a fantastic drum build up that drowns everything. If I were to make a keyword for this album, cathartic would be word. They are dealing with loss (Trascending is dedicated to River Phoenix), self-image problems (warped), nostalgia (deep kick) and religious nuts (shallow be thy game). Dark and noisy, just like the doctor ordered.

Best tracks: Pea, One big mob, Deep kick, Coffe shop, My friends.

Check them out if you dig: Faith no More’s King for a day, fool for a lifetime, Incubus’ S.C.I.E.N.C.E. and Make yourself.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,298816,00.html

http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/redhotchilipeppers/albums/album/202361/review/5940344/one_hot_minute

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:rkqvad4ky8wo

Red House Painters – Down Colorful Hill A brutal, no-nonsense honest expose of what’s going inside Mark Kozelek’s heart and brain. I got this one on recommendation of a good friend (and guitar player extraordinaire), with a cautious warning: “fear him”. Man, was I for a treat? This album not only describes all painful emotions in the saddest of lyrics, it manages to make you feel the same pain throughly. Medicine bottle is a massive dirge that might send a casual listener into seclusion, Japanese to English describes perfectly the problems of expressing one’s feelings to the other sex and Michael is a beautiful ode to a departed one. The only “happy” song you will find is a 4-minute plea to God/Jebus/Buddha/Higher Power to exterminate all human beings surrounding the singer and let him be. The name of the song? Lord kill the pain. A massive work of art for always dependable Mark Kozelek and his goons of sadness.

Best tracks: ALL OF THEM. Lord kill the pain, Japanese to English, Medicine bottle and Down Colorful Hill.

Check them out if you dig: American Music Club, Mark Eitzel, Ida, Bonnie Prince Billy, Elliot Smith, The Swells, I am Kloot, Grant Lee Phillips.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:7m8j1vajzzza

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,312509,00.html

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=15091&page=1

http://music.yahoo.com/read/review/12042287 ( Great quote here: DCH is six agonizing songs that make Joy Division sound like a beach party).

Billy Joel – River of dreams I am not joking, I own this cd and I proudly endorse it. So different from Joel’s 70’s hits or his happy 80’s stuff, you can feel the angst and brooding in this massively underrated album. No more peppy, hip cat songs like Only human, Uptown girl or Tell her about it. No, this is Billy Joel at its gloomiest. Maybe it was a byproduct of midlife crisis, but his lyrics never sounded as intimate or honest like in All about soul or A minor variation, where the protagonist realizes that so many preconceptions and ideas that you have as a child or a teen either were false or they faded away, rusted by the passing of time. You can get a feel of this growing disillusionment in one song from Joel’s previous album Storm Front (Downeaster Alexa, about a fisherman in a sea devoid of fish), whereas in this album, all but two songs are about disappointment, lost dreams and broken hopes. I have more Billy Joel cds, but this is easily the best one of the lot. It requires your attention, because you might dismiss it as another “Adult contemporary” cd of yesteryear. Give it a try and then go for Storm Front or 52nd street. You’ll see another side of Billy Joel which doesn’t includes overplayed sappy hits or history lessons.

Best tracks: Minor variation, All about soul, Shades of grey, Great wall of China.

Check them out if you dig: Ben Folds (the solo stuff), Counting Crows’ This desert life and Hard candy, Matchbox Twenty’s Mad season, Tom Petty’s Wildflowers.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:ekua6j5771l0

http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/album/314062/review/6067567/riverofdreams

http://gilliver.net/writing/river.html

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,307650,00.html

Mixhead Tape 1

Don stepped outside.

To whisper words like brother nothin’ here is any good
See the birds they’re a dropping like a star wormwood
And all I wanted was a little patch of green
We were peasants and the cotton was our king

I’m on the wire over and higher
Over the pretence over the spire why
On and connected I’m overfloating now
I’m overfloating alone

Don’t change your name keep it the same
for fear I may lose you again
I know you wont its just that I am unorganised
And I want to find you when something good happens

One big mob in one big home
A broken home
I’d like to share some air with you
Some air with you
A morning forest full of truths

Hail to those who have come from the sunlight that surrounds you
Pray for those who have gone from the sunlight that surrounds you
Hail to those who have come from the sunlight that surrounds you
Pray for those who have gone from the sunlight that surrounds you
Pretend all the good things are for you

The attention i need is much more serious
a kind of weight you couldn’t lift
even if your cheap career
depended on it
i need someone much more
mysterious

What was I thinking in my head
The color red
Breaking hearts instead of bread
Something I said
Checkmated by frustration
Need to be cut loose
A different kind of being lost
A sullen cost

As my radio
Plays my favourite song
Radio
Radio
Radio
I’m alone
Radio
Radio
Radio
Please don’t go
I sit in the dark light
To wait for ghost night
To bring the past alive
To make a toast to life
Cause I have survived
What is it you want
What is it you want to change

I knew my name

(songs referenced: Smashing Pumpkins’ I of the mourning, Red Hot Chili Peppers’ One big mob, Slint’s Don, Aman, Psychic Ills’ I knew my name, Rilo Kiley’s Hail to whatever you found in the sunlight that surrounds you, Red House Painters’ Mistress, Gradaddy’s AM 180, Grant Lee Buffalo’s Demon called deception, Soundgarden’s Overfloater).

Spinster #4: A happy moment is never a dull moment…

Sam here, back to reviewing after doing some workstuff…

Punchline – 37 everywhere These happy punkers (apparently influenced by Kevin Smith’s similar obsession) offer a light, breezy punk which although it never questions The System or The Man, it never takes it seriously either. Great for a quick stroll down the park or for a relaxing Sunday drive.

Best tracks: Don’t try this at home, Caller 10, Flashlight and How could you.

Check them out if you dig: Fall out boy, Bowling for soup, The academy is…, Bayside, Hawthorne Heights.
Want a second opinion?

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=127758

Sloan – Pretty together Ah, Canadian rockers, unite! Although it’s not their happier album (that would be 1999’s Between the Bridges), there are some fantastic fun songs here (in the movies, pick it up and dial it) and some longing-filled slow songs (the beautiful life of a working girl, the seventies-tastic I love a long goodbye). An all around nice album from these Halifax powerpoppers. Just don’t ask Andrew Whiteman of Broken Social Scene to talk to you nicely if you mention the song the other man. Nor Leslie Feist. “Now I’m the other man, no one’s rooting for me“

Best tracks: In the movies, the life of a working girl, I love a long goodbye, If it feels good do it and pick it up and dial it .

Check them out if you dig: Jumbo’s first album, Restaurant, Supergrass’ In it for the money, Feeder’s Comfort in sound.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:yguf6j6271y0

Lit – A place in the sun I got into these frat-rockers by a friend in Monterrey nearing the end of the year 2000. I was feeling waaaaay too depressed back then and needed something to lift up my esprits. They managed to do it, with flying colours. A fantastic fun album to pop out a few brews and maybe a shot or three of your favourite chaser (jaggermeister for me). From the amazing “morning after” feeling of regret and hangover (My own worst enemy sports lyrics like “can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?”. Whoa, been there, done that.) to the longing Perfect one, from the craziness of Down to the “building up for a great finish” album-closer A place in the sun, this album is everything you need for a party (preferably at a beach) or for those impromptu home-bashing all-nighters.

Best tracks: Ziplock (if I could get another chance, I’d put in a zip-lock bag, and put it in my pocket), My own worst enemy, Down and No big thing.

Check them out if you dig: Third eye blind, Wheatus, Three doors down, Better than Ezra, The Presidents of the USA.

Want a second opinion?

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:8l867ul0o0jk

http://www.robertchristgau.com/get_artist.php?name=Lit

Filter, R.E.M., Godspeed and STP news…

by Sam

• Filter’s new album, Anthems of the damned, drops in May. Guests spots include former Marilyn Manson guitarrist John 5 (who has 2 incredible solo albums), maniac Wes Borland (he of Limp Bizkit and weird body paint fame) and Josh Freese (all around nice drummer, was in A Perfect Circle). I always felt Filter makes great albums that are overlooked a lot. Granted, Take a picture got overplayed by practically everyone, but there was some real gems in Title of Record (such as Welcome to the fold, Miss blue and Captain Bligh) and 2002’s The Amalgamut (on top of my mind: God damn me, The Missing and the scream-tastic, stress reducer So I quit).
• R.E.M.’s new album is offered as a special edition at Warner’s online shop. It includes a cool booklet, videos and best of all, b-sides! I love R.E.M.’s b-sides, so I might save for this one. Now, if only I could get my hands on the VMA’95 version of Wake up bomb, I would die a happy man.
• The Rock on the Range festival looks better and better now. The reformed Stone Temple Pilots will be playing there, so as bands like Filter, Theory of a Deadman, Alter Bridge, Shinedown, Sevendust and many more. Man, I wish I had the money. Filter, Alter Bridge and Stone Temple Pilots live is a dream come true for me!
• An interesting (albeit short) note on Godspeed! You Black Emperor is at gigwise. Yes, they haven’t split, but haven’t reunited either. Sigh, back to play Moya on infinite repeat at winamp, I guess.

Reviews from a caffeinated window #6

The Five Doctors (1983)

Reviewed by FrillyShirtCyberman

 

The Gist of it:

(Note: After some doing my homework, I found out this version I saw is the “Special Edition” from 1999, i.e. a bastardized remix which would make Unca George Lucas proud. Fekk that… TOM BAKER SHOT FIRST, YOU HEARS ME?!?!?)

 

It all starts with William Hartnell, giving his classic speech from “Dalek Invasion of Earth”. My first thoughts were “ah, sh1t, I downloaded the wrong serial!”. But then Davo’s theme came aboot and I was relieved. I was in for a treat, not a bore-o-gram like Dalek Invasion of Earth.

This is the only part of that story which is good.

 

I was in for a surprise. Not a “yeah, sendit has another sale!” surprise but a “what’s this? A center for ants?” surprise.

 

He was caught drawing Kate Winslet. Naughty boy.

It all starts with the Doc, the Ginger Adric and The Stewardess from hell in a planet that looks a bit like Plas Brondanw in Wales (is Russell T. Davies watching?). He gets some bad acid reflux (damn mole verde!). Why is he so sick? His two companions get him quick-snap inside the TARDIS, looking for some gallifrey pepto and all.

“Quick! Get me some ring of fire towelettes!” shouted the Doc. Damn curry!

 

Meanwhile, The Brigadier, not more than a swallow’s flight away from them (an unladen swallow, mind you), is ready to get some award or summat, when His Holiest Trout, The Second Doctor, arrives dressed like a drag queen from Antartica. Wtf, mate? They go out and chat for a while, reminiscing about old times when they get Troutnapped by an Evil Swirlie o’Death (TM).

“And I thought MY special effects were bad!” laments The Mighty Trout.

 

Even closer than farther, good ol’ Richard Hundall is practicing his bit part in Dead Ringers, all dressed like Billy Hartnell… sadly, he also gets McFlurryed into time and space.

It’s the 99p whippy o’death!

 

We cut into a room with Baddie of the week. We know he’ bad because:

a)      He has dark gloves.

b)      He cackles more than Anthony Ainley.

c)      The idiot is taking out his Corgi collectible figurines of the Doctors. Idiot, doesn’t he know they lose value OUT of their original package?

Oops, wait, those aren’t Corgi collectibles! They are… The Doctor’s past regenerations (where’s Cushing, yo?). We go back to Jon Pertwee, driving recklessly through the countryside. Green cross, Jon, green cross. SPLINK! Anyhoo, he gets swirlied out too.

SPLINK this, wankers!

 

That leaves us with The Drunk Doctor (Tom Baker!!!) and Richard Dawkins’ shagpiece, Romana. They are enjoying some punting in Cambridge when the Swirlie o’Death comes from them. Sadly, since Tom Baker was PUI (punting under the influence), his ginified breath gets the Swirlie drunk on the fumes and they just get lost.

Now, Romana, if you see those stupid kids from Chocky, zap them!

 

Back to Davo in the Tardis, he starts to vanish, but pulls himself together and they arrive at Mordor, ehrm, Gallifrey’s Death Zone. In the distance they can see Barad Dur, ehrm, Rassilon’s tower.

No, Brigadier, we are not waiting for Ian McKellen

 

Then it’s on! The Docs race towards the Tower, in what seems to be an abridged version of It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad Gallifrey (with Milton Berle in drag as Sarah Jane). We get it all: Sarah Jane falling a massive slope of, dunno, 15 cm, Susan tripping and hurting her ankle, K9 warning and not being heard, The Master being sent to help the Doctor, Timelords plotting, Daleks exploding, Cybermen getting whacked off by a ninja robot, Turlough editing wikipedia articles in the Tardis. Geeze, they just needed the kitchen sink and a Yeti.

Oops, spoken too soon.

See? A furry screaming monster with a bad temper. 

 

Anyhoo, Davo gets ported to Gallifrey, chats with the Timelords and one of bureaucrats turns out to be a traitor. He gets the “Mexican treatment”: shot while trying to “escape”. Anyways, Doc 3 and Sarah Jane do some daring do stuff and gets to the top of the Isildur’s Tower. Doc 2 just scurries around and sneaks with the Brig. Doc 1 and Annoying Bitch (Tegan) just walk through the door. Senior Citizen’s card, you know? The Master, tired of no one accepting his help, decides to save them from the Cybermen and plays hopscotch over the same trap that was used in Exxilon. Where’s Bellal?

Hopscotch. Exxilon rules.

 

They all reunite at the tomb of Rassilon, where the One ring is in a half-chewed hobbit finger. Ah, family entertainment.

The Social Security forms in Gallifrey are pretty undecipherable. 

 

Meanwhile, more than a unladen swallow flight away, Doctor Davo (the 5^th, if you are counting) finds the real Baddie o’The Week. This dastardly villain uses his evil powers (a mix cd of Westlife and Take That) to put Davo under hypnosis. Then they meet at the tomb of Rassilon.

I took your toys and trashed the cards! They are worthless now! BWAHAHA!

 

Wait, he could teleport there? Wtf? Why all the charade? Really, let me stress this in a Shatneresque way: They. Had a. Tele. Porter. Inside RassiLONS. Toooommmb!!! KAAAAHN! Ah, anniversary special, ok, I’ll shut my pie hole. Baddie o’The Week gets his hand on the ring, but then is devoured by Gollum, ehrm , gets turned into a stone slab and… hey, did Russell T. Davies saw this one???

The scene that did all the damage in young Russell’s mind.

 

Chancellor Flavia arrives with UNIT to arrest them all. The rest of the Doctors are returned to their eras, with some quick banter and all. Davo is relieved that this stupid serial is over and teleports to a better adventure, Warriors of the Deep. Oh, boy, he’s gonna be pissed…

 

Rant:

 

I tried not to be too harsh on this one, since it’s a “celebration romp” more than a proper story, but still, damn! Unca Tewwance was sleep at the wheel on this one. Ok, so getting the surviving actors around was nice, and the “companions as ghosts” was a good quickie bit too (Liz Shaw! Jamie! Zoe! Yates!), but the story can be summed in just one line: they need to get to the tower. The rest is just like a greatest hits album that you are too embarrassed to admit you own.

I’ll see you in twenty or so years, when you are a Scotsman with a whiny blonde.

 

There are bits which I liked, though. The Raston Robot going ninja on the Cybermen is the bee’s knees, Troughton being his kooky self always makes up for the bad writing and Richard Hundall filling up for William Hartnell (who left this reality in ’75) were all great stuff in this rather pedestrian effort.

Et Tu, Larry, Moe and Shemp?

 

 I think there was this original idea, where every Doctor got trapped and The Mighty Troughton saved the day, but can’t remember for the life of me where I read. I think it got reworked partially into what became The Two Doctors. Doctor-wise, Troughton is class as always. Pertwee feels a little bored with the little he has to do (but the bantering with Troughton is class!). Hundall has the hard task to replace William Hartnell and although he doesn’t do all the classic mannerisms, he still pulls through. Davison does little too, but still is a class act.

 The companions are just there, I think the only one who I was interested in was K-9 and his in less than a minute! The Castellan just overreacts his “NOT THE MIND PROBE!!” and why he doesn’t regenerate after being shot is never explained. Borusa’s regeneration is not explained, but is used to explain his crux. The Brig was better in Mawdryn Undead, if you ask me.

 Now, The Master is now innocent of the charges of “Another contrived 80’s plan of the Master”, but still gets sadly wasted. He’s promised a new set of regenerations by those dirty steeeeenkin’ Timelords, goes out to do his duty and what happens? No one believes him! Heck, even Doc 3^rd is a bastidd towards him. Awww, poor Master, we still luvs ya! Worst than all, he gets bitchslapped by the silly Brigadier! Worst of all, he gets roped by two useless bints. It’s a sad day to be a nemesis, I tells ya!

Clocked by the silly Brigadier…

… trapped by two annoying companions… it sucks to be a baddie in the 80s.

 

The effects were okay-ish if you consider the time and age when it was made. Nothing spectacular, but nothing to write home about either. I think the only that sticks out like a sore thumb is how the Time Scoop changed from “Negative Zone” to “Swirlie o’Death/Whippy/McFlurry”. Both look unconvincing and terrible, but what do I know? I’m a useless bastidd addicted to CGI.

He’s not amused with the effects. Welcome to the club, mate.

 

One thing that bothered me, though… If the Timelords offer The Master a shiny new set of regenerations, then why doesn’t Baddie o’the Week gives himself a nice, super-sized serving of regenerations?

All in all, it’s a semienjoyable romp if you are in the mood. If you aren’t, take Horror of Fang Rock out for a spin: it’s Unca Tewwance Dicks’ best.

 

Frillyrating:

Reviews from a caffeinated window #5

Chocky’s Challenge (1985)

Reviewed by: FrillyShirtCyberman

The gist of it:

Matthew is hit by puberty and can’t make it around, so it’s up to now-blonde Albertine and tray-carrying Prentiss “Don’t autocensor me please!” Hancock to save the universe!

The man! The legend! He of Omega Factor fame! Oh, and Prentiss Hancock too…

Albertine is doing quite well in Cambridge. She’s being tutored by a nice man, called Professor Chronotis. She hacks around and moves the satellite dishes to look for Chocky’s homeworld. Meanwhile, this ratbag scientist, Dr. Liddle (Lalla Ward) is furious and goes to talk to Prof. Chronotis. She’s mad because when Albertine fiddled with the satellite dishes, she kind of killed her shagpiece, pictured here:

Why, Albertine, why????

Albertine gives a big conference to get a grant and then is questioned by Prof. Chronotis and two other silly old Cambridge tweed-wearing fellas. Since they aren’t believing her, she conjures up Chocky and they all pony up the money. Wait, didn’t Chocky said that she didn’t want to endanger kids anymore and stop it with the public appearances? File under: congruence, lack of.

Chocky has the subtlety of Colin Baker’s sixth Doctor uniform, methinks. 

Getting two more kids into the project, they manage to create an energy thingie that looks like a bad 80’s lamp. The military (led by a Carry On dude in a drag) are interested in the lamp/golf ball thingie, so they sent Captain Yates to befriend the kids.

Baddies with cute dogs. Oi, check out the name of the store behind them! Prentissssssss!

Another kid, called Cousin Oliver, arrives and helps out with the project. His manner of helping out is a bit like Adric helping the Doctor. See what I did there? Instead of reviewing Chocky, I’m still bitching about season 18 of Dr. Who. Let me get it out of my system.

I’m sorry, mate.  I didn’t meant to kill Tom Baker.

That’s more like it. Anyways, the kids make a cool looking lamp that looks suspiciously like a Sontaran Spacechip. Prentiss Hancock drops a tray with food, tea and crumpets (unforgiveable) when the kids manage to create a mag lev jumpy castle. In a Charles Dickensian twist, Cousin Oliver turns out to be Dr Liddle’s son and gets himself and Chocky kidnapped (and aliennapped).

Chocky: Electric Bogaloo!

Albertine and the two other Benetton kids join forces with Matthew to rescue Cousin Oliver. They are also helped by Chocky’s dad/parent/thingie. They go back to the stars, while the kids, Prentiss Hankock and Matthew’s dad go out for some kebabs and some XTC records.

Oi, where’s Irongron, yo?

Rant:

Holy Samurai-Pizza-Cats-watchin’ Jebus! Where do I start? Why bother using Andrew Ellams face in the beginning? He’s barely on the series. We could draw a parallel with the Matrix trilogy, you know? First one has the main dude (Neo and Matthew) getting ahold of their new found powers. Second one has Neo and Matthew being kewl with their powers and doing some crazy zany stunts to save their loved ones (David Geffen and Albertine, respectively). Part three has Neo and Matt doing flip-all and being replaced by a bunch of bad actors not doing anything.

Exactly how I felt while watching this series.

Heck, to continue the analogy, Chocky’s challenge and Matrix Revolutions have probably the same amount of plot, which is zilch, nada, zero. It’s padded like a cheerleader’s bra.

This is humour for the series. Hardy har har.

The other Chockychildren are one bit dudes: the little kid from USA is black, does break dance moves and speaks in “american” accent. The girl from Hong Kong is wise. That’s all they get. Prentiss Hancock is only around to carry the food for the kids and drop it occasionally. Chocky seems to be appearing every episode, just to forget about that “subtle” approach she was going to try.

Things like these make Political Correctness happen, you know?

The military angle is even boring. The villains get zero screen time, so you can’t relish their BWA HA HA moments like you did on series 2 with The Mighty Ed Bishop. In series 1, the villains didn’t get any real screen time, but the actions (syringes! kidnapping! OMFG!!) speak loud. In part three, they just talk a lot on their walkie talkies, kidnap kids and then go scared and are arrested. By UNIT.

The Benneton  Chocky’s children.

The series never went for the cheap laughs in the first two series, but in this one, they even do a “spectator on a bike goes into the water after watching something” bit which is really groan inducing. Where are the pies in the face, yo?

Hey, dude, can you retrieve the plot and dignity of the series while you are down there? Cheers.

IMHO, this was a very unnecesary sequel. i don’t recall having watched it as a child (i did remember series 1 and 2) and if I did, then I guess I should thank myself for clearing my memory banks… I’ll stop this now before I gets nasty, mon.

Frillyrating:  

Extra captions:

Oh no! The kids are watching me in Planet of Evil! I’m ruined! RUINEEEEED!

I’m in ur forum, banning ur users.